WHY PRE-RELATIONSHIP CHECKING IS SO IMPORTANT TODAY

Not long ago, it was common for people in the U.S. to marry their high school sweethearts.

It rarely happens like that anymore.

Nowadays Americans are dating, and even marrying, virtual strangers.

It seems the impersonality of modern life has spilled over into the dating scene. People are dating members of the opposite sex whom they've met via personals columns, the Internet, dating clubs, etc. Sometimes the first in- person meeting is also the first date!

For women, in particular, there's a considerable risk in dating a stranger. In the first place, you can't completely discount the possibility that he may be physically dangerous. But in addition to that, there are a whole host of emotional and financial risks.

In New Port Richey, Florida not long ago, Theresa Perry, 24, answered the phone and found herself speaking to another young woman who claimed to also be married to her husband, James Perry, 26. James, it turned out, had a total of six wives, married over a seven year period. Later, when questioned by police, he could not recall the names of two of them until prompted by detectives!

Such cases are more common than you might think. But, given today's easy access to public records (including marriage records) in most areas of the U.S., there's no longer any reason to expose yourself to bigamists, philanderers, con artists, and cheats. Simply check him (or her) out before the first date!

Then later, before getting serious or engaged, check him out again, this time even more thoroughly.

No doubt this sounds un-romantic. And it is, in a way. But wouldn't it be even more un-romantic to be victimized?

Incidentally, public records checks are generally confidential -- he (or she) need not know you've done some preliminary checking. (In the very few cases where there is not confidentiality, such as when you check someone's driving records in California, you're informed in advance that the subject will be made aware that his records have been accessed.)

A FEW BASIC, SIMPLE PRE-DATING CHECKS

• Identity verification (Check that he's given you his correct name and address.)
• Age verification
• Marital status verification
• Divorce verification (e.g., if he claims to be divorced)
• Education verification
• Occupation/profession verification
• Criminal records check
• State child support office check (Does he owe child support to a former wife?)
• Internet peeking (Does he contribute to any online forums? Does he have an America Online profile? Does he have a personal website?)

MORE IN-DEPTH BACKGROUND CHECKS

• Asset search (What is he worth?)
• Drivers license check (Does he have any DWI's?)
• Civil litigation check (Has anybody sued him?)
• Drug/alcohol abuse [Private investigator needed]
• Has he ever been bankrupt?
• Tag check (Does he own the car he drives or is it registered to someone else?)
• Atlas search (What do people think of him?) [Information professional recommended]
• Surveillance (Is he dating somebody else?) [Private investigator needed]